Meeting another Lupie

I had the chance this evening of meeting another incredible lupus patient Chris Reedy. From the moment i saw him, I knew he was just like me. It was like looking into a mirror...

Only another person with Lupus can truly understand "the Look" in someone else's eyes... its a mixture of pure defeat, exhaustion, with the slightest sliver of hope. 

My Heart immediately went out to him, because i know.  I know the pain...the insane exhaustion...the worry...the self loathing... but mostly he wore the expression of I'm done.  I don't know what else to do. 

He reminded me what i looked like a year ago.  A year ago i was walking the exact same agonizing steps... I'm so very blessed to have found the proper treatment.  It was a reminder that I need to keep moving forward.  I never want to go back to that feeling. 

We spoke four a few hours about our treatments, our doctors, our journey....the one thing we have in common is the loneliness.  It is so frustrating to look fine, but feel sick.  Every one around you tells you "well just do the dishes, you'll feel better," "just get out of bed, you'll feel better." If only it were that simple... If only it were so easy to jump and do what our minds want so badly to be doing... but its sincerely truly impossible for us.  If only it were so easy to find the right meds.  YOu know what i say to that...

IF ONLY THEY UNDERSTOOD....

I have been so blessed with such amazing Friends and family to be with me every step of my recovery... every day i needed help... i've had someone... Treating Lupus is pointless with out help.... And support... we need encouraged, and sometimes we need to just cry a bit... we need love...not tough love... our bodies are tough enough on us...don't add more. 

I started having flash backs listening to Chris tell me his journey.  I'm so happy our paths have crossed.  Because now, you are no longer alone.  That has been my mission since my diagnosis... helping other like me... know that you are not alone... and NEVER EVER EVER Give up... i promise you one day life will be worth living again...

I had two babies at home.  and i laid in bed and prayed that god would just take me... i couldn't do this pain any more... i've come so far from those dark days.  the more the pain leaves the more hope i have...

I hope i gave chris what he needed tonight... hope... a glimmer of hope that one day... it will get better... one day.... Tomorrow is always always always a new day...